A: At 5 Months or on These Signs

Q: Where should you avoid contractions?

There's so much wrong with this billboard that I hesitate to stop at the grammar, but I will. I do have to ask, though: Did Texas officials consider following their state tourism endorsement with, "Now tell your husband to get hi's eyes back on the road"?  Because that contraction makes just as much sense.

I love this one: a classic case of forgetting what a contraction stands for.  There are so many reasons to have lettering more than eight inches tall looked over by a professional; this is one of them.

Apparently when Tampa hosted the Super Bowl, this sign went up to encourage football enthusiasts to explore the rest of Tampa. The mayor told the offenders to take it down or fix it.  They chose to simply remove the offending contraction and insert ellipses instead.  Works for me.

A: At 9 Months or on These Signs

Q: Where do you really want contractions?

This beauty appears to be one of those lovely and hard-to-vandalize/correct carved plastic numbers.  It is apparently hung prominently in a pizza place near Niagara Falls.  I hope it's on the Canadian side. (Sorry, Canada; I'm rooting for the literacy of my own country.)

This one was on a store somewhere on the east coast as Hurricane Isabel approached. Since I know it was almost certainly made by a U.S. citizen and I can't just blame Canada, at least I can take comfort in the fact that the sign might have been destroyed by high winds.

I'm kidding, obviously.  Well, sort of.  I'm comforted in knowing that the sign eventually came down in one way or another. 

And I hope it was because someone took it down.