Avoiding conflict

You can always tell if a store owner has gotten fed up with a particular issue or complaint when he or she puts up a sign to deal with it.  Think about the signs at grocery stores and other places that sell cigarettes and beer: "We ID Under XX" implies that if you are under XX, you need to have your ID ready or put the beer and smokes back.   "We do not sell firewood," really says, "Please stop asking for firewood."  "Donated items only" indicates that the food bank people are tired of sorting the garbage out of the food collection bin.

Of course, sometimes a sign made for such a reason gives an unintended message.

Such as, "I'm a jerk." 

And apparently a jerk without much background in the difference between to and too.

Your not good with you're contractions.

I've found a glut of your and you're mistakes lately.  Here are some favorites:

Anyone else disturbed by the fact that a funeral home is asking you to rest in peace on the bench they provided?  The misuse of your is bad enough, but the idea that someone may be waiting behind the bench to embalm me is too much.  I won't get into the weird periods that seem to be trying to indicate there are abbreviations where there clearly aren't any.

You know, I've been to The Limited, and for what they charge for sweaters, I think they should be able to afford a proofreader.  Or a copywriter skilled in English grammar.

My what is on camera?  Disturbingly, this sign appears to me to be on a port-a-potty door.  I could be totally wrong about that, though.

I included this one just to prove that the your and you're confusion doesn't just happen in one direction.  With punctuation like that, I think I'll skip the reentry.

Grammatical revelation

I'm a fan of witty church signs.  You know, the ones that say things like, "A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing," or, "Don't give up; Moses was once a basket case," or, "Soul food served here."  I know they're cheesy, and I know not everyone appreciates them, but I enjoy them.

Of course, screw it up, and the message may not say what is intended:

Nothing, that is, except homophones.

In need of divine intervention

Historically speaking, there are a number of things that have been done in the name of God that weren't very, um, godly.  And while a confusion of homophones certainly doesn't rank up there with any sort of religious war, it's definitely bad:

At least it has some rhythm and meter, eh?