I've completely misunderstood this campaign

Until I found this picture of a Sara Lee truck, I thought the Sara Lee slogan was, "Nobody does it like Sara Lee." 

I'm not a fan of the double negative.  I realize that in this case, it says exactly what the Sara Lee people want it to say, but that's beside the point in my opinion.  The ends do not justify the means here. 

And in my defense, I frequently mix up song and jingle lyrics--sometimes hilariously so.  I can't tell you how many times I have been obnoxiously singing loudly off-key along with a song I love when someone I'm with (yes, I make my friends and family members endure the horror of my singing) says, "What did you just say?"  Then I have to repeat the lyrics as I understand them, only to be laughed at and corrected.

This time, though, I have the last laugh.  Sort of.

Let's hope it's a joke.

I can't recall exactly where I found this little clipping--online somewhere--but I hope it's a joke.  I hope Lynzee Stauss is a budding satirist still trying to get a grip on a difficult genre.  Or that she's not a real person, and this is all faked.

Wow.  There are feminists planning rallies against this little op-ed or rolling over in their graves as we speak.  Sorry, ladies. 

So many errors.  Let me explain.  No, no.  There is too much; let me sum up.

Paragraph 1: shifts in person, pronoun-antecedent agreement, failure to use an apostrophe with a contraction, misplaced modifier, spelling issues

Paragraph 2: (Oh, crap! The whole rest of the article is the second paragraph.)  failure to divide paragraphs, pronoun-antecedent agreement, awkward construction, shifts in person, spelling issues, confusion of because and cause, misplaced modifiers, failure to hyphenate multiple-word adjectives, general comma issues, sentence fragment

I'm tempted at this point to rail against the message of the article, but I think that is done so well by the writing itself that it's truly unnecessary for me to do it (even though I really, really want to). 

Okay.  My blood pressure is coming back into the borderline range again.  I'll be fine.  Really.

Whoa.  Where are my beta blockers? 

I truly hope this has been photoshopped or something.  Surely no one would misspell something in 6-foot-tall letters, right?  Especially a word that is only four letters in length and written on a sign right next to the area to be painted.

It reminds me of one of my all-time favorite football commercials.

UPDATE: After a brief search for Lynzee Strauss, I found that this poor girl really did herself in with this article posted on the internet in 1996.  All sorts of nastiness ensued.  I'm guessing, based on the numerous things I read, that "College Isn't Necessary" was a poor attempt at satire.