Holidays I've Missed

So I haven't been blogging much lately.  Sorry to my six loyal fans.  Thanks for not unsubscribing.  You're all super.

Anyhow, I had several things for holidays that I have now missed.  Here are the two best, and if I can figure out how to get the third best one off my phone, I'll put that up, too.

First, proof that even huge companies with huge advertising budgets putting tons of money into full-page ads in giant newspapers that should also be proofreading can screw up big time:

Are you sure they're not worth more than a turkey dinner, History.com?  You know, maybe the story is untold for a reason.  A reason such as no one literate being available to tell it.

And here's a little bit of love for you.

Well, maybe not you.  Everyone except you, perhaps.

And what happened to the apostrophe in Valentine's Day?  Or the periods at the end of the two miniature sentences at the bottom?

Apparently, they were also excepted.

Misanthropes from Injury

I write for a few local newspapers, and I have been known to include typos in my work.  Not intentionally, mind you, as if to discover whether or not my editors are actually doing their jobs, but because I find editing my own work really difficult.  I know what it's supposed to say, so my brain often tricks me into thinking things are correct even when they aren't.

Apparently, I am not the only person with this problem:

I'm not going to comment on the random capitalization (I know it's the beginning of each line and that's not exactly random, but it's pretty random in terms of rules for capitalization).  Instead, I would like to focus on the line that reads, "To avoid others from injury!"

My response to this line is, "Huh?"

Is Injury the city in which the Fitness Centre is located, and because it wasn't the first word in the line, it just didn't get that much-deserved capital I?  And how will putting away my weights after I use them save me from coming into contact with other people from what apparently would have to be my hometown?  And is everyone who uses the Fitness Centre such a complete misanthrope that directions for avoiding others is desirable?

Extra words...What I really need are some extra words.

I've been hanging on to this little beauty for a while because I hadn't quite decided if it was a grievous enough error to be considered a disaster.  But I've decided to go ahead with it because of the enthusiasm in the last line.

You probably realize that the phrase, "the usage of," really irks me because it's such a glaring example of how not to be concise.  It's not technically grammatically incorrect, but stylistically, it gets low marks.

What I really love, though, is that Management is apparently the cell phone abuser.  Why else would the sign so enthusiastically thank Management for refraining from using his cell phone in line?

Avoiding conflict

You can always tell if a store owner has gotten fed up with a particular issue or complaint when he or she puts up a sign to deal with it.  Think about the signs at grocery stores and other places that sell cigarettes and beer: "We ID Under XX" implies that if you are under XX, you need to have your ID ready or put the beer and smokes back.   "We do not sell firewood," really says, "Please stop asking for firewood."  "Donated items only" indicates that the food bank people are tired of sorting the garbage out of the food collection bin.

Of course, sometimes a sign made for such a reason gives an unintended message.

Such as, "I'm a jerk." 

And apparently a jerk without much background in the difference between to and too.

Just don't ask us to proofread them.

I have to admit, though: it's a good-looking sign.  You know, except for the glaring misuse of an apostrophe.

Your not good with you're contractions.

I've found a glut of your and you're mistakes lately.  Here are some favorites:

Anyone else disturbed by the fact that a funeral home is asking you to rest in peace on the bench they provided?  The misuse of your is bad enough, but the idea that someone may be waiting behind the bench to embalm me is too much.  I won't get into the weird periods that seem to be trying to indicate there are abbreviations where there clearly aren't any.

You know, I've been to The Limited, and for what they charge for sweaters, I think they should be able to afford a proofreader.  Or a copywriter skilled in English grammar.

My what is on camera?  Disturbingly, this sign appears to me to be on a port-a-potty door.  I could be totally wrong about that, though.

I included this one just to prove that the your and you're confusion doesn't just happen in one direction.  With punctuation like that, I think I'll skip the reentry.

Correcting errors

It's one thing to make a mistake in a sign and not realize it.  It's another thing entirely to realize it and try to correct it.

The error practically disappears, doesn't it?

This lovely specimen is from www.thereifixedit.com.  If' you enjoy a good laugh at incredibly misguided, unskilled, and creative do-it-yourselfers, you'll enjoy the blog.